Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
