I think im going to throw up on grandma
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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