why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there was a trapeze. enough said
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
