Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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