this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
