You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
They are going to name an STD after you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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