Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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