one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
