I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
