come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
