I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
