You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
