She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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