ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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