Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
