As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
