Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
