What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
