you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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