im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
