There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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