Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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