Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
