I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
