My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
