moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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