Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
