shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
