I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
