Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just puked most of my soul out..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
