please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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