i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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