Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
