he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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