I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
