One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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