After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
