is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
