its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
