weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
