Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
