I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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