..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
