i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
