Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize