He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
