i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
