Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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