I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
