She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
